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Helping ADD Kids to Cope with Bullying

Autor Ryan

Fitting in” is so important to kids. They don’t see at their young age that being different can be good. It takes time for them to learn this, so peer relationships and socialization is the biggest hurdle that kids with ADD must overcome.

Many kids are unwilling to extend a hand in friendship to the “different” kid, so many times children with ADD feel isolated and alone.

Social acceptance from peers is crucial to childhood development, but especially with issues involving self-esteem. Many ADD kids have seriously impaired social skills and they are much more emotionally immature then other children of the same age. This affects their self-image and their view of their own potential. Oftentimes, sadly, these kids are bullied and badgered.

ADD kids often struggle with making friends and keeping them. This is so very frustrating for any child, but especially a child with this disorder due to his or her diminished ability to cope with stressful events. The impulsiveness of these children combined with their poor ability to cope with the anxiety created by “teasing” or other bullying is an enormous problem for most families with ADD children.

Sometimes the child may annoy others with constant energy or outbursts. This is usually all it takes for the teasing to start. Other times the other children simply view the child as “fair game,” since they are different. Sometimes teachers appear critical of a child, and other students see this as a signal to mistreat the ADD child.

A child can be hyper at times and rather disrupting to the class dynamic. When this happens, the other children have a lower tolerance for them. Often ADD or ADHD kids like to be the center of attention; this too turns off many classmates and teachers too. This kind of classroom atmosphere can be very detrimental to any child’s self-esteem, but especially an ADD child’s.

A child’s constant attempt to gain attention — negative or positive — even causes a bigger problem. There is sometimes even a strange kind of perverse, misguided jealousy that the other children may feel toward the ADD child, stemming from the increased positive or negative attention, usually the later, that they receive from the teacher. The entire school experience often can be soured for ADD kids by these various events and circumstances.

There is much that we as parents can do to help our children succeed. Arm your children with skills to survive in the jungle that we call school. We parents can strengthen our child’s self-image by helping to teach him or her skills that will last a lifetime.

If your child really has trouble making friends and maintaining relationships with peers, maybe the following tips will help:
To help your child to thrive socially, get him or her involved in extra-curricular activities. This will help them learn to develop healthy relationships.
Arrange social engagements — parties or play dates for younger kids.
Encourage your child to branch out into new areas of interest.
Teach them how to handle the teasing and jibes through role-playing.
Demand respect for your child from their teachers, classmates and school administrators. This means that a parent should never tolerate excessive criticism from a teacher, especially degrading comments made in front of peers. ADD kids need to tell an adult if they are feeling threatened by a bully, and parents must make sure that the school follows up.

By keeping involved in school activities and keeping in contact with friends, the ADD/ADHD child will have much less trouble with peer relationships. If your child experiences other emotional issues or increasing problems with peers, psychological counseling may be needed. Therapy can do a world of good for any child with a learning disability, even if the child is not having additional problems.

Brown University researchers Wilson and Marcotte also suggest that an ADD child should receive an individualized treatment plan. By combining many treatments, the child can have the best possibilities for success. This treatment may include individual or family therapy, educational assistance for reading, writing and studying, and other training from a parent or counselor to learn socialization and communication skills.

Perhaps this article will help you to give your ADD child the added confidence and tools needed to deal with those frightening and sometimes daunting peer relationships. Now maybe you will be better prepared to help your child learn how to smile into the face of that troublesome bully. The best way for our children to survive in school is to learn how to ignore those taunts and jabs, never allowing them in. Helping them to develop a thick skin now may help them later in life. Good luck!